Tuesday, August 19, 2008

Something new, and somehow necessary

Every day I receive a mass generated email from a web organization that I belong to. Every day there's something warm and fuzzy in its contents, intended to be inspiring.

Today it was.

Today I found this:


As I started reading and listening to Cami's video post, something hit me.

I MUST do this.

And so I am. Started today, officially.

I will be blogging my days, every day, on my 29 Days personal page, on here, and on my MySpace blog ( so if you see this as a cross post, you know why )

Today's give is already done.

I spent six hours mentoring for the PAL program today.

Because certain things come naturally to me, I often forget that what I do on instinct may be difficult for others to initiate, let alone complete.
I couldn't thrive as a teacher; I don't have the patience. But I DO have passion. And determination. And they are contagious.

My second give for the day was one that was a little harder for me: I shared coasters.
I'm mailing a stack of them to my Splitcoast galpal, Tania. She's a doll and I am happy to do it but part of me just hates to part with my supplies.

Logically I know that I have more chipboard than I need, and it's just taking up space, but the packrat in me is screaming "nooooo!!".

When I posted my page on the 29 Gifts page today, it asked what I expected to receive from the process. I said that I did not know, but now I know that I do. But I do not expect, I only hope, because to expect is to set oneself up for disappointment.

I hope that I will relearn the value of things - not things in terms of their financial value but their personal worth. I do not need things. I simply want them, and enjoy having them.. something that has intensified over the years by being married to a man of extreme and often very selfish excess. The knowledge is in me, but it's buried under a gigantic pile of hoarded crap.

In addition, I hope to acquire additional patience. I have a short fuse to begin with, and when I am stressed ( which has been daily since mid May ), it amplifies tenfold, and I take it out on the sources closest to me more often than not, which I know is wrong.

And so, my journey begins. Thirty days from now I will look back at the entire series of posts and evaluate the process. In the meantime, I will simply enjoy the ride, even when it makes me want to tear our my hear and whine incessantly.

Like I said, I need it.